Back To Back Bachelor Party Weekends Should Be Illegal

This might be it for me, guys & gals.

So for anyone who doesn't know, I went on two bachelor parties out of town for two consecutive weekends and I feel like I could die here any second to be quite frank. From the first weekend going to the Wisconsin Dells to traveling 6 hours the next to hit up the Power & Light District in Kansas City, MO. Its was quite the banger of two weekends. But boy oh boy, does my body hurt.

Here’s the recap.

Wisconsin Dells. Evan Richard’s bachelor party. Things tended to get out of hand because I was with Neis cousins & Slaatsy. So, we left to go up there on Friday and to be quite honest it just took me 10 minutes to figure out if we went up there Thursday because thats just how much fun we had and how much memory I had of the damn trip. So we drive up. Me and Jdub drank the whole way up as David was a good boy and drove. Stopped at the Pub in Platteville to drop off something to the bartender so what do we do? Chug to Liquor poos before making the trip up. Smart. Smart. Smart. We get up there and decide to go out. We were at a bar jamming to some good country music when the Bartender at the joint just handed us a half case of Miller Lite (which I never understood why he gave us the cardboard casing). So obviously you guys know what happens next. We finish the case and the damn box ends up on my head like Im a friggin’ knight in shining armour. But in actuality, I looked like a chubby idiot who was wearing a Miller Lite case. Jason & I were basically drinking buddies all weekend… making sure one or the other was just as drunk and that we made bad decisions AS A TEAM. Dream Team to be exact. Well we looked at each other and thought one word, “FOOD”. We leave the group to find a food place in a city that we both aren’t really knowledgeable with. We pound home some pretzel bites and a burger. Our bachelor party decided to head to another bar. And just to show what state of mind we were in, we had the opportunity to go to the bar but me and Jason were not in good shape. Decided to head to the FUCKING KALAHARI. *Small fact that is pretty irrelevant….. we were staying at Dave’s cabin in Springbrook. We buy a room, pay for some Kalahari merch, and head on our way. Trying to make this story a little shorter, we walked aimlessly around for a couple hours because we didn’t know we were in a completely different BUILDING. They ended up having to walk us to the fucking room.

Wakey Wakey. Me & Jason both wake up and look at each other with the most regret that can be on each others faces. Where are we? How did we get here? Who hit me with a bus? Why are we wearing matching Purple Kalahari sweatshirts?

Really ugly situation for us to be honest.

So we venture back to where we were suppose to stay, tried to explain our decision to the group. Next day we played basketball and sweated out the toxins, showered, and then instantly starting drinking again LIKE A FUCKING CHAMP. We went to The Reef for the majority of the night and partied our asses off. Dancing like we have never danced before.

Then, Sunday, we headed home on a trip that I honestly thought was going to kill me. About half-way home, something occured in this brain of mine that made me get the meat sweats. I looked at Jason and said….

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“Jason, we have to go do this WHOLE THING AGAIN in 3 days.”

Fast-forward to this weekend. We leave Thursday night after our podcast to head to Kansas City. 6 hours. We drank our Naturdays the whole way down and got pretty loaded I won’t lie.

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There are some things I cannot explain due to the intensity of the actions along with the saying, “What happens in KC, stays in KC.” But for the love of God, let’s just say we saw a lot of things you cant unsee. Long story short, we had 11 guys down there, and we danced our asses off for 3 straight days, might have gotten bottle service, took two many shooters to keep count, almost watched a girl die of alcohol poisoning (she almost puked on our shoes as we walked by and the GIF on the right explains my face exactly at that moment), and had a damn blast!

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BOOM! It’s Sunday. We have to driiiiiive siiiiiiiixxxxxxx hoooooouuuuuurrrrssssssssss to get home. Not even an hour in Jdub is puking in a random field. Two hours later we were friggin in the middle of traffic with nowhere to pull over and my roomie Pac had to puke in a grocery bag. I felt great the whole ride……until that moment. I held it together though and we finally made it home.

Overall, both trips were amazing but NO MORE BACHELOR PARTIES FOR AT LEAST……. a week hehe.